"Vindication" (Saiyuki, 1/1, Hakkai/Sanzo, PG-13)

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Title: Vindication
Author: m.jules
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and alcohol intake
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Sort of Hakkai/Sanzo, allusions to others
Author's Notes: Written in response to cornerofmadness's prompt, "Any of the Saiyuki boys - and stupidity." Only self-beta'd.

---

"Why," Sanzo demanded, thumping his mostly-empty pint of beer down on the bar, "Do only stupid people hit on me?"

Hakkai blinked in surprise and took another sip from the bottle in front of him. "Sanzo, I think perhaps you have imbibed enough this evening. Why don't we --"

"I wanna know!" Sanzo interrupted, glowering fiercely. "There's the cockroach who's always sayin' stuff about wantin' to make sure I haven't shriveled up under my robes --"

Hakkai carefully hid a smile with another sip of his whiskey.

"...There's all these goddamned priests and their pawin' all over me and wantin' to set me up as some kind of patron --" Sanzo spat the word, thumping his pint glass down again as he really started to get worked up. " -- and talkin' about how they'd do anything for such a holy person... holy, my ass! That's it, that's what they want -- my holy ass."

It took all of Hakkai's self-control not to snort his whiskey up his nose and he noticed with some amusement that the bartender was starting to give them curious glances.

"I'm sure it is, Sanzo," he agreed in a low voice.

"And now -- NOW there's this -- this -- idiot followin' me around an' actin' all like we've got somethin' in common -- don't think I haven't seen the way he looks at me! Just 'cause I'm a priest doesn't mean I don't know what those looks mean! I'm holy, not dead."

"I wouldn't presume to argue that point with you," Hakkai demurred, lips twitching.

"What kind of a stupid name is 'Hazel' anyway? Stupid westerner. I wouldn't mind so much, you know, if someone besides a complete idiot showed an interest in me. I mean, am I only attractive to people with half a brain or less? Surely not."

"Of course not, Sanzo. You're quite handsome."

"See?" Sanzo cried. "You think so, right?" He drained his beer, then glared through the bottom of the glass, as if demanding to know where the rest had gone. The various glasses and bottles scattered across the bar in front of them gave away just how many he'd had, and Hakkai shook his head subtly at the bartender when Sanzo yelled for another.

"I think we should retire to our room now, Sanzo," Hakkai said, taking firm hold of the priest's elbow as he stood from his own barstool.

"I'm not finished yet!" Sanzo protested, scowling. "I haven't finished telling you --"

"Yes, yes," Hakkai interrupted, one eyebrow twitching up as the only sign of his irritation. "How you deserve to be hit on by someone intelligent."

"Yes! Exactly! I mean... no, that's not what I..." Sanzo trailed off, seeming confused.

Hakkai darted in quickly and pressed a kiss against Sanzo's lips, pulling away before the man's sluggish but still violent reflexes could make him regret the action.

"There," he said. "I'm quite certain I have at least half a brain, wouldn't you agree?"

Sanzo nodded cautiously, his violet eyes wide with shock.

"And I believe a kiss constitutes an expression of attraction, yes?"

Sanzo nodded again.

"In which case, you have now made your point and been vindicated - so can we please go to sleep?"

Still struck dumb, Sanzo could only nod yet again and follow Hakkai upstairs. The priest was still awake, staring at the ceiling, when Hakkai drifted into a calm sleep, a small smile lingering about his lips.

Comments

[jessiedark.livejournal.com]

OK, I found that entertaining. Thank you.

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you. :) I'm glad you liked it.

[erinmacha.livejournal.com]

That was wonderful and funny! Nicely done!

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[mikononyte.livejournal.com]

*wipes tea off desk*
That was great. I had no idea I was headed into Comedy Central with that one. next time I read your bi-line, I'll put down the tea.

LOL

Love it!

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Hee! Humor is not my specialty; in fact, Saiyuki seems to be the only fandom I can even attempt it in. I'm glad it worked for you. :)

[tangerine-haze.livejournal.com]

This was just too funny! Now the real question is was Hakkai just trying to get Sanzo to shut up or was he actually making a move on Sanzo? ;P

[mjules.livejournal.com]

*I'll* never tell... ;)

[aroihkin.livejournal.com]

Ahah, that was terribly cute.

Poor indignant Sanzo. XD

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Ah, Sanzo. So cute when he's angry.

[ginnyvos.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha XD Lovely!

Just 'cause I'm a priest doesn't mean I don't know what those looks mean! I'm holy, not dead."

Perfect! XD

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it! Thank you!

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

I really liked this! OMG Hakkai is amazing! I could practically hear Sanzo's and Hakkai's voices in my head as they were having this discussion. Nicely done! :D

[mjules.livejournal.com]

yay! I'm glad it worked for you. I always worry about getting them right; I heart them.

[gen50.livejournal.com]

hakkai's quick wits.... saves the day
very nicely written to show all that
and sanzo was cutely confused.

ah drink! you do befuddle the mind!

lovely story!!! more?

[mjules.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! :) Alas, I am slave to my muse, and cannot write when she is not nearby.

[purpleicicles.livejournal.com]

*Snerkchuckle* Hakkai is so badass! ^____^

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Yay, Hakkai! He really is. :) Glad you liked this.

[geri.livejournal.com]

that was a very interesting story i love hakkai, he just has away with words and body langauge. and sanzo is still awake pondering what just what the heck happened.