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whiskeycoffeeTitle: Some Other Beginning
Author: m.jules
Rating: Hard R for the whole thing
Summary: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Alphonse Elric helps Roy Mustang face life after more tragedy than one man should endure and finds something for himself in the process.
Pairing: mainly Roy/Al, with hints of and references to others. (Including, but not limited to, Ed/Winry, Al/Paninya, Gracia/Maes/Roy/Riza, and Al/Elicia.)
Disclaimer: Arakawa would KILL me. I bow low in supplication.
Author's Notes: This was meant to be "The Story That Proves In-Character Roy/Al Is Possible." Don't know if it worked. For my![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
7stages claim, prompt "New every morning."
You know, I'd ask if y'all get tired of me thanking you, but I never get tired of you commenting, so... and dude, my betas rock.
This is manga-verse, with every chapter yet released and scanlated as fair game for spoilers and many liberties taken as far as speculation about the future. If you want to know how Al got his body back, Yet Gentle and The Frost of Awakening can be considered my default answer to that question for now at least.
I am posting one chapter every Sunday night/Monday. (Except today when I'm posting way early.) Previous chapters can be found here.
Despite the heat of their welcome-home kiss on the patio, Al had honestly assumed they were going to actually nap. Apparently Roy had other ideas. Al had stopped in the kitchen to put the teapot and cup in the sink, running water in them so they wouldn't stain before he got around to washing them, and then followed Roy upstairs. They'd gotten into their comfortable pajamas, but when Al had slid between the sheets, still half sitting, Roy had cupped the young man's jaw and pressed their lips together, tongue sliding wetly and insistently into Al's mouth. Roy had kissed him hard and long, and when he paused to get a better angle, the hand on Al's jaw sliding into that short, blond hair, it was obvious Mustang wasn't planning on stopping soon. Maybe the man really had missed him, Al thought with some humor as Roy's tongue tangled with his.
“Roy,” Al panted as he broke away, dragging his eyes open to look at the man. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
Roy gave an amused chuckle as he brushed his lips over Al’s jaw, fingers drawing smooth, straight lines down the side of Al’s neck. “I think I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
“Roy, I’m serious,” Al said, soft rebuke in his voice as he pulled away from Roy’s distracting caresses. “I want to make sure you’re not pushing yourself into this just because I want it.”
Roy sat back but didn’t remove his hand from Al’s hair as he said solemnly, “I care about you far too much to do that.” At Al’s questioning look, he expanded, “If I were to force myself into an intimacy with you that I was not ready for, it would only end in unhappiness for both of us. I would most likely lose you not only as a lover, but as a friend.” His voice roughened and his hand tightened, gripping Al's neck. “I've lost enough friends already.”
Al felt emotion and protectiveness well in him and leaned forward, capturing Roy’s mouth softly, lips and tongue moving tenderly over the other man’s. Roy met his kiss in kind, his hand relaxing its death grip, fingers massaging in near-apology. The angle soon put a strain on Al and, unwilling to break the kiss, he drew Roy into his arms, their legs tangling awkwardly in the sheets as they searched for better access.
They broke, breathless, and Al licked his lips hungrily, his hips moving unconsciously against Roy’s thigh. Roy smiled and ran his hand over Al’s ribs, sliding it behind Al's back to pull him closer. They shifted, allowing Roy to lie back on the pillows, and Al hesitated briefly before Roy tugged at him. Are you sure? lingered on Al's tongue yet again but Roy had answered him once, and thoroughly. Asking again would be an insult.
Awkwardly, Al crawled forward, stretching his body over Roy’s, and Roy sighed with something like relief as his arms came up around Al, his hips lifting into the younger man’s gently. For the first time, Al felt the proof of Roy’s readiness against his stomach and shuddered. This was different than anything he’d done before – his only experiences prior to this had been with Paninya – and it felt a little strange, but the desire that moved through him was the same. In the end, Al decided, all the technicalities and logistics of their relationship – the age gap, the anatomical similarities – didn’t matter. All that mattered was how they felt about each other, and that wasn’t different at all.
Al was careful not to rest too much of his weight on Roy but that was easier said than done, especially when Roy kept grasping at him, clutching Al's back and shoulders as he plundered the boy's mouth. Al couldn't escape the niggling suspicion that Roy was pushing himself too far, too fast, but Mustang had said he knew what he was doing and Al chose to trust that despite his misgivings. Besides, Roy's mouth was delicious and the heat of his body soaked into Al, making him shudder with desire. Wasn't this what he'd been wanting for weeks now?
Al groaned and rocked downward, seeking contact, some kind of relief for the heavy pressure building in his groin. Roy broke the kiss, panting, and Al tucked his face into Roy's neck, kissing and licking the flesh there. The taste threatened to drive him wild and he whispered Roy's name as he nipped at Mustang's earlobe. Was this real? Part of him was certain this was a dream and he would wake up, still in Ed's guest room, hard and embarrassed.
But no, one of Roy's hands slipped under Al's shirt, skimming up his spine, and the scrape of blunt fingernails against his skin was very real. Roy's other hand rested on Al's hip, pressing, encouraging Al to move. When Roy took the skin of Al's neck between his teeth and suckled, Al bucked hard against him, amazed he didn't come right then. Maybe waiting so long had been good, Al thought; he was certainly hypersensitive to every touch of Roy's hand, every breath that skittered across his skin, every wet brush of lips and tongue.
Later, Al would blame his boldness on the headiness of Roy's kisses, the happiness of seeing him again, being in his arms, being wanted. In the moment, all he knew was that he could feel Roy's hardness against him and wanted to hear Roy's voice saturated in pleasure. Al slid one hand down to Roy's belly, fingers brushing over warm, bare flesh where Mustang's shirt had ridden up with their movements. The muscles there jumped at the ticklish sensation and Al couldn't help kissing Roy deeply, heat and hunger burning him up from the inside. Patience was a thought long gone and he moved his hand down further, rubbing his palm over the hard flesh under Roy's pajamas.
Roy gasped and jerked back, flinching hard and not in pleasure. Al stopped, startled, and stared down at him. "Roy...?"
Roy cursed himself silently, clenching his jaw as he tried to control his body's shaking but there was no disguising the way his erection flagged and disappeared as if it had never existed. The touch of Al's hand there had been too much, bringing memories and guilt in an indiscernible flood that overwhelmed the pleasure of Al's kisses. He was still half-drowning in the dark emotions, pulled down by the hands of ghosts that wouldn't even tell him their names, but he saw the way Al withdrew, saw the way those golden eyes cooled and the corners of Al's mouth turned down. I've done it, Roy thought in a panic. I've lost him. At that moment, he would have given any amount of money to be able to take back that involuntary reaction and let Al keep touching, but the damage was done now.
"I'm sorry," Al was saying, his voice haunted. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. It was my fault."
"No, Al," Roy tried to say, but the words got tangled in his throat. He wasn't sure Al even heard him.
"I'll go back to my old bedroom." Al's feet were already on the floor and he was pushing up out of the bed when Roy finally made his traitorous body move, lurching across the mattress, fingers closing around Al's wrist.
"Don't," Roy rasped, his chest and throat tight with fear. "Don't leave me." His nightmare came rushing back to him, as real as it had been when he dreamed it: Al's voice, saying he was leaving, not coming back. He had jerked awake, telling himself it was only a dream, but the cold, empty space in the bed beside him had been worse than the dream itself. I've lost too much, he pleaded silently, willing Al to hear what he couldn't say. I can't lose any more. Please.
Al stopped, his back still to Roy. Roy saw the way Al's head bent under the weight of his self-imposed guilt but he didn't let go of Al's wrist.
"When I was in Resembool, at Ed's," Al began slowly, tension visible in the way his shoulders hunched. Roy felt himself tensing in response, anxiety rippling through him. "I had to hold a pillow to get to sleep, and even then I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up, thinking something was wrong, and... and it was wrong. I can't... I can't even sleep alone anymore, Roy." Al's voice sounded tired, defeated, and Roy's grip tightened around his wrist. "I don't think I could leave you, even if you asked me to."
"I'll never ask," Roy promised. I can't sleep alone anymore, either.
Al turned then, his expression as solemn as Roy had ever seen it, and it was all Roy could do not to hold his breath. "I'm sorry I pushed too far," Al murmured.
"I'm sorry I couldn't go farther," Roy said honestly. He'd wanted Al. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have started kissing him like that in the first place. Roy tugged a little on Al's wrist and the younger man relented, crawling back into the bed. Roy slid his arms around Al before there could be any question of awkwardness or distance. They wouldn't try anything else tonight, he knew; his reaction had wounded Al on a certain level and the boy didn't even have an erection anymore. But they would try again later, and again, until he got past these particular ghosts. Anything to keep from being haunted by one more.
Al's arms tightened around him and Roy closed his eyes. The scent of Al's skin was comfort in its basest form and Roy fought the urge to flick his tongue out and taste it. It would be too much like teasing, too much like making promises he couldn't fulfill just yet. Instead, he breathed deep and buried his nose in the crook of Al's neck. Al made a murmuring noise in his throat and nuzzled into Roy's hair, dropping a soft kiss there. Roy felt his body begin to relax, felt tension bleed out of muscles he hadn't known were tense, and just for a moment, he fought the drowsiness that was creeping over him. He wanted to know and remember this moment, this reality, to keep it like a talisman.
Finally, he felt Al's grip on him slacken, betraying the other man's surrender to sleep, and gave in to his own exhaustion. Resolutely ignoring the guilt he could still feel tapping at the window of his mind, he drifted into a dreamless oblivion, content that he was not alone.
Author: m.jules
Rating: Hard R for the whole thing
Summary: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Alphonse Elric helps Roy Mustang face life after more tragedy than one man should endure and finds something for himself in the process.
Pairing: mainly Roy/Al, with hints of and references to others. (Including, but not limited to, Ed/Winry, Al/Paninya, Gracia/Maes/Roy/Riza, and Al/Elicia.)
Disclaimer: Arakawa would KILL me. I bow low in supplication.
Author's Notes: This was meant to be "The Story That Proves In-Character Roy/Al Is Possible." Don't know if it worked. For my
7stages claim, prompt "New every morning." You know, I'd ask if y'all get tired of me thanking you, but I never get tired of you commenting, so... and dude, my betas rock.
This is manga-verse, with every chapter yet released and scanlated as fair game for spoilers and many liberties taken as far as speculation about the future. If you want to know how Al got his body back, Yet Gentle and The Frost of Awakening can be considered my default answer to that question for now at least.
I am posting one chapter every Sunday night/Monday. (Except today when I'm posting way early.) Previous chapters can be found here.
Despite the heat of their welcome-home kiss on the patio, Al had honestly assumed they were going to actually nap. Apparently Roy had other ideas. Al had stopped in the kitchen to put the teapot and cup in the sink, running water in them so they wouldn't stain before he got around to washing them, and then followed Roy upstairs. They'd gotten into their comfortable pajamas, but when Al had slid between the sheets, still half sitting, Roy had cupped the young man's jaw and pressed their lips together, tongue sliding wetly and insistently into Al's mouth. Roy had kissed him hard and long, and when he paused to get a better angle, the hand on Al's jaw sliding into that short, blond hair, it was obvious Mustang wasn't planning on stopping soon. Maybe the man really had missed him, Al thought with some humor as Roy's tongue tangled with his.
“Roy,” Al panted as he broke away, dragging his eyes open to look at the man. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
Roy gave an amused chuckle as he brushed his lips over Al’s jaw, fingers drawing smooth, straight lines down the side of Al’s neck. “I think I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
“Roy, I’m serious,” Al said, soft rebuke in his voice as he pulled away from Roy’s distracting caresses. “I want to make sure you’re not pushing yourself into this just because I want it.”
Roy sat back but didn’t remove his hand from Al’s hair as he said solemnly, “I care about you far too much to do that.” At Al’s questioning look, he expanded, “If I were to force myself into an intimacy with you that I was not ready for, it would only end in unhappiness for both of us. I would most likely lose you not only as a lover, but as a friend.” His voice roughened and his hand tightened, gripping Al's neck. “I've lost enough friends already.”
Al felt emotion and protectiveness well in him and leaned forward, capturing Roy’s mouth softly, lips and tongue moving tenderly over the other man’s. Roy met his kiss in kind, his hand relaxing its death grip, fingers massaging in near-apology. The angle soon put a strain on Al and, unwilling to break the kiss, he drew Roy into his arms, their legs tangling awkwardly in the sheets as they searched for better access.
They broke, breathless, and Al licked his lips hungrily, his hips moving unconsciously against Roy’s thigh. Roy smiled and ran his hand over Al’s ribs, sliding it behind Al's back to pull him closer. They shifted, allowing Roy to lie back on the pillows, and Al hesitated briefly before Roy tugged at him. Are you sure? lingered on Al's tongue yet again but Roy had answered him once, and thoroughly. Asking again would be an insult.
Awkwardly, Al crawled forward, stretching his body over Roy’s, and Roy sighed with something like relief as his arms came up around Al, his hips lifting into the younger man’s gently. For the first time, Al felt the proof of Roy’s readiness against his stomach and shuddered. This was different than anything he’d done before – his only experiences prior to this had been with Paninya – and it felt a little strange, but the desire that moved through him was the same. In the end, Al decided, all the technicalities and logistics of their relationship – the age gap, the anatomical similarities – didn’t matter. All that mattered was how they felt about each other, and that wasn’t different at all.
Al was careful not to rest too much of his weight on Roy but that was easier said than done, especially when Roy kept grasping at him, clutching Al's back and shoulders as he plundered the boy's mouth. Al couldn't escape the niggling suspicion that Roy was pushing himself too far, too fast, but Mustang had said he knew what he was doing and Al chose to trust that despite his misgivings. Besides, Roy's mouth was delicious and the heat of his body soaked into Al, making him shudder with desire. Wasn't this what he'd been wanting for weeks now?
Al groaned and rocked downward, seeking contact, some kind of relief for the heavy pressure building in his groin. Roy broke the kiss, panting, and Al tucked his face into Roy's neck, kissing and licking the flesh there. The taste threatened to drive him wild and he whispered Roy's name as he nipped at Mustang's earlobe. Was this real? Part of him was certain this was a dream and he would wake up, still in Ed's guest room, hard and embarrassed.
But no, one of Roy's hands slipped under Al's shirt, skimming up his spine, and the scrape of blunt fingernails against his skin was very real. Roy's other hand rested on Al's hip, pressing, encouraging Al to move. When Roy took the skin of Al's neck between his teeth and suckled, Al bucked hard against him, amazed he didn't come right then. Maybe waiting so long had been good, Al thought; he was certainly hypersensitive to every touch of Roy's hand, every breath that skittered across his skin, every wet brush of lips and tongue.
Later, Al would blame his boldness on the headiness of Roy's kisses, the happiness of seeing him again, being in his arms, being wanted. In the moment, all he knew was that he could feel Roy's hardness against him and wanted to hear Roy's voice saturated in pleasure. Al slid one hand down to Roy's belly, fingers brushing over warm, bare flesh where Mustang's shirt had ridden up with their movements. The muscles there jumped at the ticklish sensation and Al couldn't help kissing Roy deeply, heat and hunger burning him up from the inside. Patience was a thought long gone and he moved his hand down further, rubbing his palm over the hard flesh under Roy's pajamas.
Roy gasped and jerked back, flinching hard and not in pleasure. Al stopped, startled, and stared down at him. "Roy...?"
Roy cursed himself silently, clenching his jaw as he tried to control his body's shaking but there was no disguising the way his erection flagged and disappeared as if it had never existed. The touch of Al's hand there had been too much, bringing memories and guilt in an indiscernible flood that overwhelmed the pleasure of Al's kisses. He was still half-drowning in the dark emotions, pulled down by the hands of ghosts that wouldn't even tell him their names, but he saw the way Al withdrew, saw the way those golden eyes cooled and the corners of Al's mouth turned down. I've done it, Roy thought in a panic. I've lost him. At that moment, he would have given any amount of money to be able to take back that involuntary reaction and let Al keep touching, but the damage was done now.
"I'm sorry," Al was saying, his voice haunted. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. It was my fault."
"No, Al," Roy tried to say, but the words got tangled in his throat. He wasn't sure Al even heard him.
"I'll go back to my old bedroom." Al's feet were already on the floor and he was pushing up out of the bed when Roy finally made his traitorous body move, lurching across the mattress, fingers closing around Al's wrist.
"Don't," Roy rasped, his chest and throat tight with fear. "Don't leave me." His nightmare came rushing back to him, as real as it had been when he dreamed it: Al's voice, saying he was leaving, not coming back. He had jerked awake, telling himself it was only a dream, but the cold, empty space in the bed beside him had been worse than the dream itself. I've lost too much, he pleaded silently, willing Al to hear what he couldn't say. I can't lose any more. Please.
Al stopped, his back still to Roy. Roy saw the way Al's head bent under the weight of his self-imposed guilt but he didn't let go of Al's wrist.
"When I was in Resembool, at Ed's," Al began slowly, tension visible in the way his shoulders hunched. Roy felt himself tensing in response, anxiety rippling through him. "I had to hold a pillow to get to sleep, and even then I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up, thinking something was wrong, and... and it was wrong. I can't... I can't even sleep alone anymore, Roy." Al's voice sounded tired, defeated, and Roy's grip tightened around his wrist. "I don't think I could leave you, even if you asked me to."
"I'll never ask," Roy promised. I can't sleep alone anymore, either.
Al turned then, his expression as solemn as Roy had ever seen it, and it was all Roy could do not to hold his breath. "I'm sorry I pushed too far," Al murmured.
"I'm sorry I couldn't go farther," Roy said honestly. He'd wanted Al. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have started kissing him like that in the first place. Roy tugged a little on Al's wrist and the younger man relented, crawling back into the bed. Roy slid his arms around Al before there could be any question of awkwardness or distance. They wouldn't try anything else tonight, he knew; his reaction had wounded Al on a certain level and the boy didn't even have an erection anymore. But they would try again later, and again, until he got past these particular ghosts. Anything to keep from being haunted by one more.
Al's arms tightened around him and Roy closed his eyes. The scent of Al's skin was comfort in its basest form and Roy fought the urge to flick his tongue out and taste it. It would be too much like teasing, too much like making promises he couldn't fulfill just yet. Instead, he breathed deep and buried his nose in the crook of Al's neck. Al made a murmuring noise in his throat and nuzzled into Roy's hair, dropping a soft kiss there. Roy felt his body begin to relax, felt tension bleed out of muscles he hadn't known were tense, and just for a moment, he fought the drowsiness that was creeping over him. He wanted to know and remember this moment, this reality, to keep it like a talisman.
Finally, he felt Al's grip on him slacken, betraying the other man's surrender to sleep, and gave in to his own exhaustion. Resolutely ignoring the guilt he could still feel tapping at the window of his mind, he drifted into a dreamless oblivion, content that he was not alone.
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