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mjules.livejournal.com) wrote in
whiskeycoffee2007-04-15 10:44 pm
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Entry tags:
"Some Other Beginning" (Fullmetal Alchemist, Roy/Al, WIP, 19/45?)
Title: Some Other Beginning
Author: m.jules
Rating: Hard R for the whole thing
Summary: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Alphonse Elric helps Roy Mustang face life after more tragedy than one man should endure and finds something for himself in the process.
Pairing: mainly Roy/Al, with hints of and references to others. (Including, but not limited to, Ed/Winry, Al/Paninya, Gracia/Maes/Roy/Riza, and Al/Elicia.)
Disclaimer: Arakawa would KILL me. I bow low in supplication.
Author's Notes: This was meant to be "The Story That Proves In-Character Roy/Al Is Possible." Don't know if it worked. For my
7stages claim, prompt "New every morning."
Thank you again, everyone. No, really. :) I mean it.
I am posting one chapter every Sunday night. Previous chapters (and other related stories) can be found here.
You might notice that I now have a tentative number of total chapters for the story. This is because I actually wrote out a rough outline last night, chapter by chapter. I quake at the thought. For the record, in case anybody's curious, Chapters One through Twenty-One of this fic are 46,643 words long. With twenty-four chapters left after that, it's anyone's guess how long this thing will be. *cries* Are you guys SURE you want to finish this story? *laugh*
ALSO!! Six points (and a story 'contest' opportunity) to the first person who tells me why, exactly, I used the chapter title I did. *giggles*
"Right this way, Mr. Elric." The shop clerk grinned like someone had just promised him all the gold he could carry and a couple of pack mules to carry it with. Of course, Al thought wryly, who can blame him for thinking that? "I think you'll like some of the items we received in our new shipment. Many of our customers are suspicious of them but for a man of your distinguished taste and exceeding talent, I think they will immediately show their worth."
Al tried to keep himself from physically rolling his eyes and was very glad he'd told Roy to stay home. This sort of pandering was grating enough without Roy mocking the little man in his subtle way. Al hid a grin at the thought of some of the honey-coated insults Roy probably would have gleefully dispensed. On second thought, maybe he should have brought Mustang. Al was fairly certain that he would have no use for the shop keeper's new items but it was always worth it to look. He followed the man through the shop into the back room where he had first discovered the electricity-powered drill he had purchased for Winry's wedding gift two weeks before.
Tools powered by electricity and gasoline were a new invention and were very expensive. Most people saw no use for them and the shop keeper had been having cause to regret offering the novelty until Al had waltzed through. The shop keeper had called him the day before to tell him that the store was now offering more of the novelties and Al had felt so sorry for the man that he'd agreed to see them. He already had Winry's wedding present, though, and while the state had rewarded him, his brother, and Mustang handsomely for their roles in winning the Northern War and their status as national heroes, Al wasn't the type of person who liked spending money carelessly.
The contraptions the shop keeper was offering -- some sort of bulky, wieldy machine for chopping wood and something that blew heated air from a nozzle of sorts -- held no appeal and he couldn't see what use Winry would have for either of them. He scratched the back of his neck as he searched for a polite refusal that would hopefully clue the shop keeper into the fact that Al wasn't an entrepreneur or an ingenue and didn't need anything more than the drill he'd already bought.
"I appreciate you showing me these," Al said with a friendly smile, "But I really don't need anything like this. I've already got everything I need and I don't plan to buy any more than I already have."
"I see," the little man said, stroking his chin thoughtfully, and Al breathed a sigh of relief. "I shall just have to look harder for items that will pique the interest of a man who has everything!" He began shooing Al out of the room as if he would begin a secret project right then. "I will find something that will shock and tempt even you, Mr. Elric!" the shop keeper insisted and Al shook his head, holding up his hands.
"No, no!" Al protested. "That's not what I meant! I --"
"I'll call you when I have something new, Mr. Elric!" The little man continued shooing Al toward the front door. "For now, please don't bother yourself with my humble shop -- you should be enjoying yourself with a glass of wine and a lovely young lady or two."
"N-no --" Al said again, nearly stumbling over a rug as he tried to keep ahead of the man's pushy hands.
"Oh? Perhaps you prefer the company of men?" The shop keeper smiled slyly and Al blushed. Is he flirting with me? Oh, fuck.
"Thank you for your time," Al blurted as he did his best to simply walk out of the store instead of sprinting for the street. He did lengthen his stride as soon as he hit the sidewalk, putting as much distance between himself and the shop -- and shop keeper -- as he could. Once he was several blocks away, he shook his head, chuckling at the situation. The things some people do for a sale, he thought wryly. And really, I prefer the company of one man. Maybe I should have told him that. 'Sorry, I'm taken.' He felt warmth and color touch his cheeks at the thought. He really was taken, he thought. He wasn't sure how to define his relationship with Mustang to anyone else but he certainly didn't consider himself single anymore.
He paused on a street corner and looked at his surroundings more closely. He hadn't been paying much attention to which direction he'd headed when he left the shop. A quick glance around told him exactly where he was and he smiled. "But then again," he mused aloud, "Sometimes a lovely young lady or two is exactly who I want to see."
"Al!" Elicia's bright voice and brighter eyes made him smile and he hugged the girl close, remembering when she'd been three years old and would come skidding around the corner, full-tilt, and slam into Winry's knees. She'd almost knocked Winry's legs out from under her more than once. Al had enjoyed playing with the toddler -- it was almost as good as having a kitten! -- but he'd been jealous that Winry had been able to cuddle little Elicia on her lap. Al had known he would hurt the child if he'd tried, trapped in armor as he had been. Elicia was too old for lap-cuddling now, but Al liked her hugs when he got them.
"Elicia?" Gracia called from the kitchen as she stepped into the hall, wiping flour off her hands with a towel. "Is there someone -- Oh! Alphonse!"
"Hello, Gracia." He grinned, letting one hand rest on Elicia's shoulder in a half-embrace. Elicia beamed up at him. She had a few favorite people, people she liked to get attention from, and Al was one of them. He felt momentarily guilty for not visiting more often. "I'm sorry for just dropping in like this, I hope it's not too much of a bother."
"Not at all," Gracia smiled, coming close enough to kiss his cheek. "We're always happy to see you, Alphonse. Why don't you come into the kitchen? I'll get you something to drink. I just put an apple pie into the oven."
Al laughed. "Do you bake those all the time or do you have some sixth sense for when I'll be showing up?"
Gracia grinned. "If anyone has the sixth sense, it would be my daughter. She asked for a pie as her reward for getting such good marks in school."
"That's great!" Al said, looking down at Elicia and ruffling her hair. "Congratulations, kiddo!"
"Thanks!" Elicia chirped, managing to look pleased and embarrassed at the same time. She ducked out from under Al's hand and danced into the kitchen ahead of the adults. "Will you stay and share my pie?" she asked.
Al hesitated. He hated to say no and disappoint the girl but he'd left Roy alone, believing he wouldn't be at the shop for very long. "I... I'd love to, Elicia, but I don't know if I can or not."
Elicia's face fell and Gracia's eyes turned serious. "Is Roy doing all right?"
There was a pang in Al's heart at the question. It was obvious Gracia was concerned for Roy and Al couldn't help but feel, for just a moment, as if he'd stolen the man from her. "He's doing a lot better," Al nodded. "His leg still bothers him a lot, though, and I don't like to leave him alone for too long."
Gracia studied Al with narrowed eyes for a moment before saying sweetly, "Elicia, why don't you go find the sculpture you made in art class? I'm sure Alphonse would love to see it." She pulled a bottle of milk out of the refrigerator and poured two cups, taking water for herself. She handed one to Al. "And you can have milk with your pie when it's done."
Elicia looked suspicious, as if knowing her mother was simply sending her out of the room so she could have grown-up talk with Al, but the temptation of having Al praise her for her modeling clay sculpture was too great, and she eventually slid out of the chair and raced up the stairs to her room. Al watched her go.
"She seems to be doing very well," he commented, hoping to evade Gracia's inevitable question. He knew it was a lost cause but he figured it was worth a try.
"She likes seeing you," Gracia agreed easily on her way to her next question. "And we haven't seen you in several months. How are you getting along with Roy?" Her eyebrow arched sharply -- like a mother getting ready to lecture her son on how to treat his girlfriend, Al thought.
"Fine," Al answered with a blush. It wasn't that he didn't want Gracia to know, necessarily, as much as he simply didn't want to explain the details of it. Her other eyebrow rose and he shrank back just a little. Damn these women, he scowled. "Um, I mean... yeah. We're doing fine."
"We?" she repeated. Gracia's expression softened into a knowing smile and she turned to look in through the glass panel of the oven door, checking the pie. "That's good to hear."
Al fidgeted with his cup of milk, taking a long swallow. He still loved the stuff and would never understand why his brother hated it. "Um, he'd probably like to see the two of you sometime," Al said, wiping at the milk he felt on his upper lip. "Are you coming to the wedding?"
"For Edward and Winry?" Gracia nodded. "Winry invited us. In fact, Elicia's even going to be in the ceremony." Al looked surprised and she continued, "She's the flower girl."
Al grinned widely. "She'll be great for that," he said just as the subject of their discussion came back down the stairs much more carefully than she'd ascended them. Her hands were cupped around something and she walked with precise steps, her eyes fixed on her hands.
"Is that your sculpture?" Al asked, setting his cup down on the table as he came closer to see it. She opened her hands as if she held a butterfly inside and he cocked his head as he regarded it from several different angles. It was definitely some kind of animal, probably a mammal... beyond that, the lumpy gray clay didn't hold many clues as to the artist's intentions. "That's nice!" he said, hoping she would tell him what it was before he had to ask. Eight-year-olds weren't as forgiving of such slights as toddlers.
"You like it? Really?" Her eyes lit up. "I don't think it looks very good. It was supposed to be a horse, but the legs kept messing up, so then I tried to make it a cat." She shrugged, chewing on her lower lip.
Al looked at it closer and could definitely see parts of both animals, though the sculpture as a whole didn't look much like either one. It was on the tip of his tongue to call it a chimera when he realized that Elicia, as sharp as her father and just as inquisitive, would want to know what that was. "You know, some people think dragons are a lot like cats and horses and snakes all put together," he noted, and she made a face.
"I don't like snakes," she said. "But dragons are pretty cool, I guess." She shrugged. "I'd rather it be a cat, though."
"Cats are much nicer than dragons," Al agreed, seeing Gracia cover a snicker out of the corner of his eye. "They make much better pets."
Gracia smiled and said, "It takes a special woman to keep a dragon in the house." Her eyes twinkled. "But I think Winry's up to the challenge." She set Elicia's cup of milk on the table and checked the oven again. "Most people, on the other hand, find that cats make very good companions."
Al blushed, not missing her double meaning. "I should be getting back."
"Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to do so anytime." Gracia came over to hug him, murmuring in his ear so Elicia couldn't hear, "You're good for Roy. Don't forget that."
"Thanks, Gracia," he muttered, returning her embrace before he stepped back. "I'll see you two at the wedding." He smiled and smoothed his hand over Elicia's hair. "You'll make a beautiful flower girl," he told her, thinking sadly how much Maes would have loved to see it. Roy would just have to see it for him, then.
"Next time you come, stay for pie," Elicia demanded, unable to give him a goodbye hug with the horse-cat still in her hands. "And don't take so long about coming back!"
"Elicia," Gracia murmured, her eyebrow twitching in a motherly warning.
Elicia looked rebellious for a moment but finally scuffed her foot across the floor and added in a mumble, "Please."
"Of course," Al answered. "I'm sorry it took me so long this time." He patted Elicia's head one last time and headed out the door and toward home.
Author: m.jules
Rating: Hard R for the whole thing
Summary: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Alphonse Elric helps Roy Mustang face life after more tragedy than one man should endure and finds something for himself in the process.
Pairing: mainly Roy/Al, with hints of and references to others. (Including, but not limited to, Ed/Winry, Al/Paninya, Gracia/Maes/Roy/Riza, and Al/Elicia.)
Disclaimer: Arakawa would KILL me. I bow low in supplication.
Author's Notes: This was meant to be "The Story That Proves In-Character Roy/Al Is Possible." Don't know if it worked. For my
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Thank you again, everyone. No, really. :) I mean it.
I am posting one chapter every Sunday night. Previous chapters (and other related stories) can be found here.
You might notice that I now have a tentative number of total chapters for the story. This is because I actually wrote out a rough outline last night, chapter by chapter. I quake at the thought. For the record, in case anybody's curious, Chapters One through Twenty-One of this fic are 46,643 words long. With twenty-four chapters left after that, it's anyone's guess how long this thing will be. *cries* Are you guys SURE you want to finish this story? *laugh*
ALSO!! Six points (and a story 'contest' opportunity) to the first person who tells me why, exactly, I used the chapter title I did. *giggles*
"Right this way, Mr. Elric." The shop clerk grinned like someone had just promised him all the gold he could carry and a couple of pack mules to carry it with. Of course, Al thought wryly, who can blame him for thinking that? "I think you'll like some of the items we received in our new shipment. Many of our customers are suspicious of them but for a man of your distinguished taste and exceeding talent, I think they will immediately show their worth."
Al tried to keep himself from physically rolling his eyes and was very glad he'd told Roy to stay home. This sort of pandering was grating enough without Roy mocking the little man in his subtle way. Al hid a grin at the thought of some of the honey-coated insults Roy probably would have gleefully dispensed. On second thought, maybe he should have brought Mustang. Al was fairly certain that he would have no use for the shop keeper's new items but it was always worth it to look. He followed the man through the shop into the back room where he had first discovered the electricity-powered drill he had purchased for Winry's wedding gift two weeks before.
Tools powered by electricity and gasoline were a new invention and were very expensive. Most people saw no use for them and the shop keeper had been having cause to regret offering the novelty until Al had waltzed through. The shop keeper had called him the day before to tell him that the store was now offering more of the novelties and Al had felt so sorry for the man that he'd agreed to see them. He already had Winry's wedding present, though, and while the state had rewarded him, his brother, and Mustang handsomely for their roles in winning the Northern War and their status as national heroes, Al wasn't the type of person who liked spending money carelessly.
The contraptions the shop keeper was offering -- some sort of bulky, wieldy machine for chopping wood and something that blew heated air from a nozzle of sorts -- held no appeal and he couldn't see what use Winry would have for either of them. He scratched the back of his neck as he searched for a polite refusal that would hopefully clue the shop keeper into the fact that Al wasn't an entrepreneur or an ingenue and didn't need anything more than the drill he'd already bought.
"I appreciate you showing me these," Al said with a friendly smile, "But I really don't need anything like this. I've already got everything I need and I don't plan to buy any more than I already have."
"I see," the little man said, stroking his chin thoughtfully, and Al breathed a sigh of relief. "I shall just have to look harder for items that will pique the interest of a man who has everything!" He began shooing Al out of the room as if he would begin a secret project right then. "I will find something that will shock and tempt even you, Mr. Elric!" the shop keeper insisted and Al shook his head, holding up his hands.
"No, no!" Al protested. "That's not what I meant! I --"
"I'll call you when I have something new, Mr. Elric!" The little man continued shooing Al toward the front door. "For now, please don't bother yourself with my humble shop -- you should be enjoying yourself with a glass of wine and a lovely young lady or two."
"N-no --" Al said again, nearly stumbling over a rug as he tried to keep ahead of the man's pushy hands.
"Oh? Perhaps you prefer the company of men?" The shop keeper smiled slyly and Al blushed. Is he flirting with me? Oh, fuck.
"Thank you for your time," Al blurted as he did his best to simply walk out of the store instead of sprinting for the street. He did lengthen his stride as soon as he hit the sidewalk, putting as much distance between himself and the shop -- and shop keeper -- as he could. Once he was several blocks away, he shook his head, chuckling at the situation. The things some people do for a sale, he thought wryly. And really, I prefer the company of one man. Maybe I should have told him that. 'Sorry, I'm taken.' He felt warmth and color touch his cheeks at the thought. He really was taken, he thought. He wasn't sure how to define his relationship with Mustang to anyone else but he certainly didn't consider himself single anymore.
He paused on a street corner and looked at his surroundings more closely. He hadn't been paying much attention to which direction he'd headed when he left the shop. A quick glance around told him exactly where he was and he smiled. "But then again," he mused aloud, "Sometimes a lovely young lady or two is exactly who I want to see."
"Al!" Elicia's bright voice and brighter eyes made him smile and he hugged the girl close, remembering when she'd been three years old and would come skidding around the corner, full-tilt, and slam into Winry's knees. She'd almost knocked Winry's legs out from under her more than once. Al had enjoyed playing with the toddler -- it was almost as good as having a kitten! -- but he'd been jealous that Winry had been able to cuddle little Elicia on her lap. Al had known he would hurt the child if he'd tried, trapped in armor as he had been. Elicia was too old for lap-cuddling now, but Al liked her hugs when he got them.
"Elicia?" Gracia called from the kitchen as she stepped into the hall, wiping flour off her hands with a towel. "Is there someone -- Oh! Alphonse!"
"Hello, Gracia." He grinned, letting one hand rest on Elicia's shoulder in a half-embrace. Elicia beamed up at him. She had a few favorite people, people she liked to get attention from, and Al was one of them. He felt momentarily guilty for not visiting more often. "I'm sorry for just dropping in like this, I hope it's not too much of a bother."
"Not at all," Gracia smiled, coming close enough to kiss his cheek. "We're always happy to see you, Alphonse. Why don't you come into the kitchen? I'll get you something to drink. I just put an apple pie into the oven."
Al laughed. "Do you bake those all the time or do you have some sixth sense for when I'll be showing up?"
Gracia grinned. "If anyone has the sixth sense, it would be my daughter. She asked for a pie as her reward for getting such good marks in school."
"That's great!" Al said, looking down at Elicia and ruffling her hair. "Congratulations, kiddo!"
"Thanks!" Elicia chirped, managing to look pleased and embarrassed at the same time. She ducked out from under Al's hand and danced into the kitchen ahead of the adults. "Will you stay and share my pie?" she asked.
Al hesitated. He hated to say no and disappoint the girl but he'd left Roy alone, believing he wouldn't be at the shop for very long. "I... I'd love to, Elicia, but I don't know if I can or not."
Elicia's face fell and Gracia's eyes turned serious. "Is Roy doing all right?"
There was a pang in Al's heart at the question. It was obvious Gracia was concerned for Roy and Al couldn't help but feel, for just a moment, as if he'd stolen the man from her. "He's doing a lot better," Al nodded. "His leg still bothers him a lot, though, and I don't like to leave him alone for too long."
Gracia studied Al with narrowed eyes for a moment before saying sweetly, "Elicia, why don't you go find the sculpture you made in art class? I'm sure Alphonse would love to see it." She pulled a bottle of milk out of the refrigerator and poured two cups, taking water for herself. She handed one to Al. "And you can have milk with your pie when it's done."
Elicia looked suspicious, as if knowing her mother was simply sending her out of the room so she could have grown-up talk with Al, but the temptation of having Al praise her for her modeling clay sculpture was too great, and she eventually slid out of the chair and raced up the stairs to her room. Al watched her go.
"She seems to be doing very well," he commented, hoping to evade Gracia's inevitable question. He knew it was a lost cause but he figured it was worth a try.
"She likes seeing you," Gracia agreed easily on her way to her next question. "And we haven't seen you in several months. How are you getting along with Roy?" Her eyebrow arched sharply -- like a mother getting ready to lecture her son on how to treat his girlfriend, Al thought.
"Fine," Al answered with a blush. It wasn't that he didn't want Gracia to know, necessarily, as much as he simply didn't want to explain the details of it. Her other eyebrow rose and he shrank back just a little. Damn these women, he scowled. "Um, I mean... yeah. We're doing fine."
"We?" she repeated. Gracia's expression softened into a knowing smile and she turned to look in through the glass panel of the oven door, checking the pie. "That's good to hear."
Al fidgeted with his cup of milk, taking a long swallow. He still loved the stuff and would never understand why his brother hated it. "Um, he'd probably like to see the two of you sometime," Al said, wiping at the milk he felt on his upper lip. "Are you coming to the wedding?"
"For Edward and Winry?" Gracia nodded. "Winry invited us. In fact, Elicia's even going to be in the ceremony." Al looked surprised and she continued, "She's the flower girl."
Al grinned widely. "She'll be great for that," he said just as the subject of their discussion came back down the stairs much more carefully than she'd ascended them. Her hands were cupped around something and she walked with precise steps, her eyes fixed on her hands.
"Is that your sculpture?" Al asked, setting his cup down on the table as he came closer to see it. She opened her hands as if she held a butterfly inside and he cocked his head as he regarded it from several different angles. It was definitely some kind of animal, probably a mammal... beyond that, the lumpy gray clay didn't hold many clues as to the artist's intentions. "That's nice!" he said, hoping she would tell him what it was before he had to ask. Eight-year-olds weren't as forgiving of such slights as toddlers.
"You like it? Really?" Her eyes lit up. "I don't think it looks very good. It was supposed to be a horse, but the legs kept messing up, so then I tried to make it a cat." She shrugged, chewing on her lower lip.
Al looked at it closer and could definitely see parts of both animals, though the sculpture as a whole didn't look much like either one. It was on the tip of his tongue to call it a chimera when he realized that Elicia, as sharp as her father and just as inquisitive, would want to know what that was. "You know, some people think dragons are a lot like cats and horses and snakes all put together," he noted, and she made a face.
"I don't like snakes," she said. "But dragons are pretty cool, I guess." She shrugged. "I'd rather it be a cat, though."
"Cats are much nicer than dragons," Al agreed, seeing Gracia cover a snicker out of the corner of his eye. "They make much better pets."
Gracia smiled and said, "It takes a special woman to keep a dragon in the house." Her eyes twinkled. "But I think Winry's up to the challenge." She set Elicia's cup of milk on the table and checked the oven again. "Most people, on the other hand, find that cats make very good companions."
Al blushed, not missing her double meaning. "I should be getting back."
"Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to do so anytime." Gracia came over to hug him, murmuring in his ear so Elicia couldn't hear, "You're good for Roy. Don't forget that."
"Thanks, Gracia," he muttered, returning her embrace before he stepped back. "I'll see you two at the wedding." He smiled and smoothed his hand over Elicia's hair. "You'll make a beautiful flower girl," he told her, thinking sadly how much Maes would have loved to see it. Roy would just have to see it for him, then.
"Next time you come, stay for pie," Elicia demanded, unable to give him a goodbye hug with the horse-cat still in her hands. "And don't take so long about coming back!"
"Elicia," Gracia murmured, her eyebrow twitching in a motherly warning.
Elicia looked rebellious for a moment but finally scuffed her foot across the floor and added in a mumble, "Please."
"Of course," Al answered. "I'm sorry it took me so long this time." He patted Elicia's head one last time and headed out the door and toward home.
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Very cute!! :)
(first comment!! WOO)
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Glad you enjoyed.
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(wow, that was an obscure comment that shows my age... )
Hmm.. a prompt.. how about chocolate? Mmmm... chocolate *drools*
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*giggles and dies*
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And I see someone figured out the aong....
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Al being too nice to the overzealous shopkeep was fun, and thoughts of the impending Ed/Winry wedding have me squeeing (of course).
Still loving it. This really perks up the impending Mondays. Also, I'm kind of glad you're planning on stopping before 52 chapters. I don't know if I can take this story going on sequentially for a full year. ^_~
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*laughs* Hey, 45 is cutting it down from its potential! Starting in Ch 26, I'm going to be covering entire years in each chapter instead of hours/days/weeks. They get one chapter for every year of 'marriage.'
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Great chapter, Al is such a cutie!!!
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Glad you're enjoying! *snuggles Al*
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Meanwhile, now that I see how many more chapters you have planned, I'm getting rather nervous about whether this story has a happy ending. Gulp!
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Happy ending? what's that? *evil grin*
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And you know, I keep asking Gracia if she ever finds anyone else, and she keeps telling me she's content with being single. I don't know if that'll change or not.
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You know his song "Something So Right"?
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*hearts Paul Simon like whoa*
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The foreshadowing to "Midnight Confessions," and a possible Al/Elicia relationship was interesting. I also liked this:
The contraptions the shop keeper was offering -- some sort of bulky, wieldy machine for chopping wood and something that blew heated air from a nozzle of sorts -- held no appeal and he couldn't see what use Winry would have for either of them.
Maybe not Winry, but what about your boyfriend, Al? If anyone has a hairstyle that could make use of a hairdryer, it's Roy. Hee.
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*nods* I like playing with the different tensions... and I project a lot onto Elicia. When I was her age, I was ALWAYS in love with either my older cousins' best friends or even my dad's friends. (Never in love with my dad or my older cousins, though. *laugh*) So... Elicia kinda inherited some of that, poor child.
And oo, Roy with a hair dryer. Al, Al, you missed a prime erotic opportunity, kiddo. *laugh*