"Spare Clips" (Metanoia, Star/Zan, 1/2)

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Title: Spare Clips
Author: m.jules
Rating: Varies.
Disclaimer: *points to Jesse and Rah* I didn't do it.
Prompt Set: Gamma
Author's Notes: So I had so much fun doing the 1sentence challenge for Koi Cha no Osahou that I decided I wanted to do it again. This time I picked Metanoia, of course. Because fifty sentences are cumbersome to read (and because goddammit, these were harder than the Koi Cha ones!) I'm posting it in halves. Here are the first twenty-five sentences. The second twenty-five will follow when I have them written.
Warnings: I have a gun fetish. I disapprove of the practice of deliberately snuffing out life in most cases, but it remains that guns = omgyesplease to me. I was raised with them (Southern!) and I adore them. I understand that some people will not understand this, but as the particular fetish is reflected in some of these sentences, I thought maybe I should at least explain it.

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1. Star heard somewhere that the term "dead ringer" came from the old tradition of burying someone with a bell so that if their ghost rose from the grave everyone could hear them coming; he thinks that this boy, this walking spirit with no fashion sense at all, should at least have the decency to warn people in a similar manner. - Ring

2. It isn't that he's trying to be a big damn hero, rescuing Zan's ex and getting cut all to bits in the process, but things just turn out that way sometimes and in the end, he feels kinda sorry for Kevin having to be rescued by his rival. - Hero

3. It doesn't make sense that the sight of one Ridden can hit him in the chest like an intravenous shot of pure relief when the presence of another drowns him in such bitter memory that he remembers why a life of murder tasted better than one night of broken love and blood in the snow. - Memory

4. Zachriel likes to remind Zan, sometimes, that the very last thing at the bottom of Pandora's box was hope - it's a little thing, but it helps Zan loosen the latch again just when he's ready to lock Star out. - Box

5. There have been some people that Zan knew instinctively would bring themselves full circle - let them run long enough and they'd end up where they started, just with a broader view of the world - but he knows with just as much instinct that Star will just keep going right over the edge if Zan can't outrun him and get there first. - Run

6. Beth made Zan listen to some sort of folk-country-rock CD in the car once that had a line about a 'blue-eyed son of a hurricane,' and he still doesn't admit that his first thought was they got it wrong; Star's eyes are green. - Hurricane

7. Snow is something they've seen plenty of but something about the soft way the flakes fall on this particular night feels like the cool brush of comforting white wings on their skin. - Wings

8. It's been two years since he gave an unspeakably costly charm to a man whose name he doesn't know and whose face he'll never forget, and there are some winter nights when he sits up into the early morning hours in a mad rush of coding that he pauses, fingers going utterly still for a brief moment, and wonders if that beautiful, fucked-up man ever came in from the cold. - Cold

9. He can feel things he dare not name in the pit of his belly like a cherry-red coal; he is afraid that one breath at the right angle could blow it into a flame that will consume him and all he is. - Red

10. Star has no qualms about ditching his babysitter whenever he wants to get away, but Zan has noticed that his partner is particularly attached to the idea of having meals together; it's those times, watching Star suck down Guinness like it's just dark water, that Zan thinks it's a good thing he doesn't drink - he'd be under the table before Star finished half a pint, and probably doing very interesting things to boot. - Drink

11. He feels like loading a gun and shooting the hell out of something (possibly his brain) when he realizes that midnight came and went hours ago and he'd be in bed by now if he weren't waiting for Zander to call it a night first. - Midnight

12. When Zan reprimands Star for the beer and the steaks in the grocery basket, grousing good-naturedly that it isn't fair to tempt him with things he can't have, Star bares his teeth in the second cousin twice removed of a proper smile and says, "Remember that next time you decide to take your shirt off in front of me." - Temptation

13. It's one of his more disturbing fantasies (the kind that make him say, "What the fuck, Tyrian?" and shake his head) but he admits he almost wants to know what Zander would look like in the crosshairs of a rifle scope; he's pretty sure it would be one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen... and the most terrifying. - View

14. Star's got plenty of jokes up his sleeves about hearing angels sing, but no matter how many of them he makes, the truth is that he kind of likes the sound of Zan's voice. - Music

15. Zan wishes sometimes that he didn't so vividly remember the texture of Star's tongue, the raw-silk feel of it inside his own mouth. - Silk

16. It's an odd mission but Star feels at home being a sniper again, even if there is an unfamiliar warmth that has been coursing through him ever since Zan leaned close after the briefing and murmured, "Cover me." - Cover

17. There have been times Zan thought he would leave Star behind in a second if he could, but there's something between them, something tying them, something as real and deep and serious as a holy vow, and Zan doesn't know how to break it; truth is, he's scared to try. - Promise

18. Plenty of the dreams that involve Star are disturbing in one way or another, but there's one Zan has that stirs him more than he thought possible, one in which he sees something he guesses Star would never want him to; the kid calls himself Jaime and the name is familiar, but it's the hole through his eye and the brilliant smile when he says Star's name that finishes the picture for him. - Dream

19. There's a moment, watching Star smile as Gina takes a breath to blow out the candles on her birthday cake, that Zan thinks there might be some center of good in the man, some deep, hidden well of kindness and light; then it becomes obvious that they're trick candles and Star's laugh gives him away as the culprit, and Zan just rolls his eyes. - Candle

20. Star's never known anyone else with such a talent for making him want to prove that he's not a waste of air and flesh. - Talent

21. The jokes, the name-calling, the ribbing all served to break the ice, but it's when they start being able to sit in companionable silence that they realize they've become friends. - Silence

22. Zan is absolutely positive that the words "Road trip!" proceeding from Star's mouth will remain in his memory as the sound of nails being hammered into his coffin. - Journey

23. When Star narrows his eyes at Zan and says something about reminding him how to feel good, Zan is terrified; he never would have imagined that Star intended to set up a tin can on a fence post, hand him his gun and say, "Do you even remember how to fire it?" - Fire

24. Zan isn't sure, sometimes, whether to pray for strength or simply for mercy; if Star prays for anything, it is oblivion. - Strength

25. Sometimes, not even Star is sure what his real face looks like anymore; he suspects, though, that it's beginning to show up more often. - Mask