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whiskeycoffeeTitle: Man of Sorrows
Author: m.jules
Series: Time For Love, part 2
Summary: “He himself bore the sin of many and interceded for the transgressors.”
Rating: R for the series
Disclaimer: For love, not money. (You doubt me? Check my bank account.)
Archive: If you have part of the series, you can have it all.
“O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, and your form is lovely.” -- Song of Solomon 2
Jean tucked herself more firmly into the overhang, her back pressing against the cool stone, centering her and providing a welcome counterpoint to the heat of the mid-July day and the warmth she felt in her cheeks. She was twenty years old, she reasoned; she shouldn’t be hiding like this. She justified it by insisting that this had been her special place to come as a child, when her parents had first sent her to Xavier’s, when her gifts overpowered her and she became frightened by the objects she couldn’t get to stop floating and the voices in her head that she couldn’t silence. It was for old times’ sake. But it was for new times’ sake, too, she admitted silently.
She was better at controlling her telekinesis and, to a great extent, her telepathy, but it appeared she still had little to no control over her own emotions. She couldn’t have sorted them out at the moment if her very life had depended on it. Oh, maybe she could’ve taken an educated guess -- anger, desire, shame -- but to actually tame them and sort them into the safe little white “boxes” she kept stacked along the imaginary walls in her mind... that was impossible.
She’d been away at Columbia for two years; she’d come home because Kitty, whom she had spent a great deal of time looking after when she lived at the mansion, was celebrating her eighth birthday and had specifically asked Jean to come. Jean hadn’t been sure at first -- after all, since she’d left to go to college, she had spent all her holidays with her now-ex-boyfriend and his family, and she felt a little guilty for staying away so long. But eventually the girl had prevailed upon her, and she’d agreed.
She and Brandon had broken up in March after a failed but earnest attempt at a long-distance relationship after he transferred to Cal-Berkeley over winter holidays, and Jean was feeling the loneliness of his vacated spot in her life. She was sure that was the reason she was even being affected the way she was, but it didn’t do a great deal to console her.
At the students’ collective birthday party, she had been mingling with a few of the children and young adults, her confidence having increased during her time away, and keeping an eye out for her former mentor, Dr. McCoy. There was talk that the mysterious Logan was home at last as well, and she admitted to a deep curiosity to see the object of her high school crush, to see if being ‘out in the world’ had changed her tastes.
That was when she had seen him. She’d only seen him from the back at first, but even that glimpse had made her heart flutter. He was tall, broad-shouldered with a slim waist and hips, and dark haired. He carried himself well, and the younger children simply would not leave him alone. They sprawled all over him in adoration and he adjusted his stance often to accommodate them. Even when he had turned to face her, she hadn’t recognized him immediately. His jaw was more chiseled now, squarer; his forehead was higher and his hair no longer fell limply across it.
It wasn’t until she saw her own reflection in the ruby-red lenses of his sunglasses did she realize who he was and gasped. She, a sophomore at Columbia University with a very serious, long-term relationship just barely behind her, had been having palpitations over a boy who wasn’t even of legal age yet. She’d almost felt sick and had fled the party immediately, her thoughts and feelings in a jumbled mass.
By instinct, she’d found her way here, back to the little refuge in the rock that she had discovered as a child. She’d wiled away many lonely summer evenings here, she remembered, watching the fireflies dance their spell-binding waltzes in the deepening dusk. Afternoon was beginning to creep away now, and she entertained a small hope that she might see them again today.
The sound of a throat being cleared above her made her jump, hitting her head against the overhang. Quickly, she scrambled out of the hollow, turning to see who had managed to sneak up on her. She usually sensed people coming. When she saw his face, panic and anger boiled to the surface rapidly.
“You!” she blurted. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. “I didn’t realize anyone else came here, or knew about it.” He shrugged. “I come here sometimes to think. It’s quiet.”
“No,” she murmured, correcting herself more than him, as the initial onrush of emotion began to ebb. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… shouted at you like that. I, um, I need to get back anyway… Kitty will be…wondering. Um, I’m sorry.” She blushed at her sudden inability to speak intelligently and began backing away, twisting her hands nervously and berating herself for allowing some trick of loneliness and hormones to make her actually flirt with a sixteen-year-old boy!
“You don’t have to leave,” Scott said quickly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I know what it’s like to need – a haven, sometimes,” he assured her quietly, almost tenderly.
She found herself studying his face and thought she was getting used to reading his expression without the benefit of seeing his eyes. I wonder what color they are, she heard herself think before she could stop it. His face seemed open, honest, even mildly affectionate, but nothing that brought up the ‘creepy’ feeling she associated with him from her days living at the mansion.
“Thank you,” she told him sincerely, for the first time perhaps speaking to him instead of at him. “But I really do need to get back to the party. I promised Kitty I would be there for her. I should at least help them clean up.”
“Would you like company, or would you prefer to walk alone?” he asked, and she was surprised to realize that he wasn’t baiting her into one answer or the other. He simply was offering her an option, no strings attached. That revelation alone made her answer.
“Um, I don’t really have a preference,” she told him, smiling uncertainly. “If you came out here to spend some time by yourself, I’ll be fine walking back alone. If you’re going back anyway, though, we might as well walk together.”
I’m just being friendly, Jean told herself. I’ve been rude and ignored him for too long. It isn’t fair to him. And besides – he’s only sixteen. Nothing will happen. Nothing.
For his part, Scott Summers was secretly thrilled that Jean Grey was treating him like a human. He had given up his infatuation with her years ago, but he couldn’t deny, even to himself, that he liked her. He liked her manner of speaking, the way she walked, the struggle he saw in her to connect with the people around her rather than remaining safely aloof. He admired her for that courage; he knew all too well how tempting it was to hold everyone at arm’s length and never risk being rejected.
But he also understood her need for solitude every now and then. In fact, he had come to this rock, this little natural hollow in the woods, to be alone. He’d needed to sort out the feelings he’d had in seeing her again, in being aware of her initial reaction to him. He was well aware of their age difference; aware of how he would feel if a twelve-year-old girl was suddenly interested in him. So he decided to give Jean her space. At least a little.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, “but I do think I need a little time by myself. Just for a few minutes.” He smiled charmingly. “I will be back to help clean up the party things, though. See you back at the mansion?”
She nodded, still slightly confused by her feelings and his behavior. This wasn’t the odd, intense young boy she remembered. This was a slightly less odd young man, just as intense, but now tempered with a maturity he should not be privy to at his age.
“See you,” she confirmed as she turned to walk back to the mansion alone, trying to figure out why she was disappointed by his decision to stay behind.
Author: m.jules
Series: Time For Love, part 2
Summary: “He himself bore the sin of many and interceded for the transgressors.”
Rating: R for the series
Disclaimer: For love, not money. (You doubt me? Check my bank account.)
Archive: If you have part of the series, you can have it all.
“O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, and your form is lovely.” -- Song of Solomon 2
Jean tucked herself more firmly into the overhang, her back pressing against the cool stone, centering her and providing a welcome counterpoint to the heat of the mid-July day and the warmth she felt in her cheeks. She was twenty years old, she reasoned; she shouldn’t be hiding like this. She justified it by insisting that this had been her special place to come as a child, when her parents had first sent her to Xavier’s, when her gifts overpowered her and she became frightened by the objects she couldn’t get to stop floating and the voices in her head that she couldn’t silence. It was for old times’ sake. But it was for new times’ sake, too, she admitted silently.
She was better at controlling her telekinesis and, to a great extent, her telepathy, but it appeared she still had little to no control over her own emotions. She couldn’t have sorted them out at the moment if her very life had depended on it. Oh, maybe she could’ve taken an educated guess -- anger, desire, shame -- but to actually tame them and sort them into the safe little white “boxes” she kept stacked along the imaginary walls in her mind... that was impossible.
She’d been away at Columbia for two years; she’d come home because Kitty, whom she had spent a great deal of time looking after when she lived at the mansion, was celebrating her eighth birthday and had specifically asked Jean to come. Jean hadn’t been sure at first -- after all, since she’d left to go to college, she had spent all her holidays with her now-ex-boyfriend and his family, and she felt a little guilty for staying away so long. But eventually the girl had prevailed upon her, and she’d agreed.
She and Brandon had broken up in March after a failed but earnest attempt at a long-distance relationship after he transferred to Cal-Berkeley over winter holidays, and Jean was feeling the loneliness of his vacated spot in her life. She was sure that was the reason she was even being affected the way she was, but it didn’t do a great deal to console her.
At the students’ collective birthday party, she had been mingling with a few of the children and young adults, her confidence having increased during her time away, and keeping an eye out for her former mentor, Dr. McCoy. There was talk that the mysterious Logan was home at last as well, and she admitted to a deep curiosity to see the object of her high school crush, to see if being ‘out in the world’ had changed her tastes.
That was when she had seen him. She’d only seen him from the back at first, but even that glimpse had made her heart flutter. He was tall, broad-shouldered with a slim waist and hips, and dark haired. He carried himself well, and the younger children simply would not leave him alone. They sprawled all over him in adoration and he adjusted his stance often to accommodate them. Even when he had turned to face her, she hadn’t recognized him immediately. His jaw was more chiseled now, squarer; his forehead was higher and his hair no longer fell limply across it.
It wasn’t until she saw her own reflection in the ruby-red lenses of his sunglasses did she realize who he was and gasped. She, a sophomore at Columbia University with a very serious, long-term relationship just barely behind her, had been having palpitations over a boy who wasn’t even of legal age yet. She’d almost felt sick and had fled the party immediately, her thoughts and feelings in a jumbled mass.
By instinct, she’d found her way here, back to the little refuge in the rock that she had discovered as a child. She’d wiled away many lonely summer evenings here, she remembered, watching the fireflies dance their spell-binding waltzes in the deepening dusk. Afternoon was beginning to creep away now, and she entertained a small hope that she might see them again today.
The sound of a throat being cleared above her made her jump, hitting her head against the overhang. Quickly, she scrambled out of the hollow, turning to see who had managed to sneak up on her. She usually sensed people coming. When she saw his face, panic and anger boiled to the surface rapidly.
“You!” she blurted. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. “I didn’t realize anyone else came here, or knew about it.” He shrugged. “I come here sometimes to think. It’s quiet.”
“No,” she murmured, correcting herself more than him, as the initial onrush of emotion began to ebb. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… shouted at you like that. I, um, I need to get back anyway… Kitty will be…wondering. Um, I’m sorry.” She blushed at her sudden inability to speak intelligently and began backing away, twisting her hands nervously and berating herself for allowing some trick of loneliness and hormones to make her actually flirt with a sixteen-year-old boy!
“You don’t have to leave,” Scott said quickly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I know what it’s like to need – a haven, sometimes,” he assured her quietly, almost tenderly.
She found herself studying his face and thought she was getting used to reading his expression without the benefit of seeing his eyes. I wonder what color they are, she heard herself think before she could stop it. His face seemed open, honest, even mildly affectionate, but nothing that brought up the ‘creepy’ feeling she associated with him from her days living at the mansion.
“Thank you,” she told him sincerely, for the first time perhaps speaking to him instead of at him. “But I really do need to get back to the party. I promised Kitty I would be there for her. I should at least help them clean up.”
“Would you like company, or would you prefer to walk alone?” he asked, and she was surprised to realize that he wasn’t baiting her into one answer or the other. He simply was offering her an option, no strings attached. That revelation alone made her answer.
“Um, I don’t really have a preference,” she told him, smiling uncertainly. “If you came out here to spend some time by yourself, I’ll be fine walking back alone. If you’re going back anyway, though, we might as well walk together.”
I’m just being friendly, Jean told herself. I’ve been rude and ignored him for too long. It isn’t fair to him. And besides – he’s only sixteen. Nothing will happen. Nothing.
For his part, Scott Summers was secretly thrilled that Jean Grey was treating him like a human. He had given up his infatuation with her years ago, but he couldn’t deny, even to himself, that he liked her. He liked her manner of speaking, the way she walked, the struggle he saw in her to connect with the people around her rather than remaining safely aloof. He admired her for that courage; he knew all too well how tempting it was to hold everyone at arm’s length and never risk being rejected.
But he also understood her need for solitude every now and then. In fact, he had come to this rock, this little natural hollow in the woods, to be alone. He’d needed to sort out the feelings he’d had in seeing her again, in being aware of her initial reaction to him. He was well aware of their age difference; aware of how he would feel if a twelve-year-old girl was suddenly interested in him. So he decided to give Jean her space. At least a little.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, “but I do think I need a little time by myself. Just for a few minutes.” He smiled charmingly. “I will be back to help clean up the party things, though. See you back at the mansion?”
She nodded, still slightly confused by her feelings and his behavior. This wasn’t the odd, intense young boy she remembered. This was a slightly less odd young man, just as intense, but now tempered with a maturity he should not be privy to at his age.
“See you,” she confirmed as she turned to walk back to the mansion alone, trying to figure out why she was disappointed by his decision to stay behind.
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