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whiskeycoffeeTitle: A Heart Less Gentle
Author: m.jules
Summary: A heart less gentle might not have needed to forget.
Rating: Kid-friendly
Timeline: Between Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
Disclaimer: If you need me to tell you I don't own Narnia and don't wish to profit from Jack's creations, you don't know me very well at all.
Author's Notes: Look who's writing fic in England.
Lucy stood in the doorway of the bedroom she shared with her sister, watching as Susan coaxed the rollers out of her long hair and combed through the locks with her fingers. The vanity top in front of the older girl was littered with all the trappings of modern beauty, though Lucy couldn't help thinking Susan didn't need any of it; after all, she'd always been the beautiful one with suitors queued up for miles. The younger girl tried not to fidget though she couldn't help the frown that tugged at her mouth. She hadn't even realized that Susan had paused, watching her in the mirror, until the girl spoke.
"Something wrong, Lu?"
Lucy swallowed and had every intention of shaking her head and offering the little white lie of Nothing, thanks, but as her siblings had always known, the youngest Pevensie was honest to a fault. She couldn't lie; it wasn't in her.
"Why won't you ever talk about Narnia with me and the boys?" she blurted, voice pleading and so very earnest.
Susan faltered for the briefest moment, then flashed a bright smile as she set the last roller down on the vanity. "You mean those silly old games we used to play?" Lucy wondered if she was only imagining the tremble in her sister's voice. "I guess I just haven't got time for playing make-believe anymore."
Lucy clenched her fists by her side, fighting with all her strength not to argue, not to fight, not to ruin Susan's evening with angry words. She didn't want to be angry with her sister. But when Susan had laughed and left the room when the conversation had turned to their glorious days as the rulers of that far country, Lucy had put all her legendary valiant character into not crying. Edmund had given her a sad, knowing smile and Peter had drawn her into a hug, but Lucy missed her sister, the Gentle Queen of Narnia.
"How can you say that?" Though her heart wanted to wail, the words came out in a whisper, barely escaping her tight throat. "Don't you remember the royal dinners, the archery tournaments -- you always won, of course -- the wonderful dryads and the naiads and the centaurs?" Lucy's voice grew wistful as her own words drew her into the memories, stirred her heart again with the beauty of those years. "What about Mr. Tumnus? Surely you haven't forgotten Aslan --"
"Enough!" Though Susan hadn't raised her voice, Lucy stopped, as shocked as if the older girl had screamed curses at her. Susan's hands shook violently as she set the silver brush firmly on the vanity, the force of the movement betraying all the emotion she was keeping so carefully controlled in her voice, in the lines of her face which had gone deathly pale.
"But --" Lucy began, not knowing what she meant to say.
"No more," Susan repeated, her eyes fixed, unseeing, on the mirror. "Of course I remember. But why would I want to?" Lucy flinched, but Susan continued, color beginning to flush her wan cheeks. "Why would I remember a life gone by that I cannot live again? Why would I break my heart with longing for a country to which I can never return?"
Tears glistened in Susan's eyes, and for a moment, Lucy's heart leapt with recognition. This was her sister again, the girl she missed almost as much as Narnia itself.
"Maybe it's different for you, Lu," Susan whispered. "Aslan said you and Ed could come back." Her voice dropped even lower as she admitted, "You don't know how hard it is not to hate you -- not to hate Him -- for that. It's easier just to forget, to pretend it never happened." She paused, cleared her throat. "It's better that way."
Lucy stood speechless for long moments as tears ran silently down her face. Susan slowly calmed, her eyes focusing again on the mirror, hands beginning to steady as they reached for the puff to powder her nose, then the bright lipstick to paint onto her lips.
"Oh, Su," Lucy murmured, one hand coming up as if to reach for her then faltering, closing uncertainly, and falling again to her side.
Susan smiled at her in the mirror, red lips curving to reveal the slightest hint of pearl-white teeth, and Lucy felt wistfulness sweep over her again. No trace remained of the person who had been there moments before, the person who felt, who remembered. In her place was the girl Susan put on for the world, the girl Lucy now knew she hid behind.
"Greggory is taking me out to a lovely cafe tonight, and I hear their cucumber sandwiches are to die for. They even have smoked salmon! Can you imagine?" Susan turned in her chair, giving Lucy a look of excitement. "Would you like me to bring you something back, Lu?"
Lucy shook her head and forced herself to answer politely, "No, thank you. I'm sure I'll be able to find something here."
"Another time, then," Susan conceded, standing and pulling on her coat. She looped her tiny purse over her wrist and headed out the door, pausing in front of her sister to lift Lucy's chin with two manicured fingertips. "Don't worry about me, love. Life goes on, doesn't it?" She smiled again, this time gently, before tapping Lucy's nose with one painted fingernail. "I'll see you later tonight, then, dearest. Ta!"
She swept out the door, leaving Lucy to collapse onto the bed and cry until exhaustion pulled her into sleep. Neither girl saw the sad, golden eyes that looked out from Susan's mirror and wept.
Author: m.jules
Summary: A heart less gentle might not have needed to forget.
Rating: Kid-friendly
Timeline: Between Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
Disclaimer: If you need me to tell you I don't own Narnia and don't wish to profit from Jack's creations, you don't know me very well at all.
Author's Notes: Look who's writing fic in England.
Lucy stood in the doorway of the bedroom she shared with her sister, watching as Susan coaxed the rollers out of her long hair and combed through the locks with her fingers. The vanity top in front of the older girl was littered with all the trappings of modern beauty, though Lucy couldn't help thinking Susan didn't need any of it; after all, she'd always been the beautiful one with suitors queued up for miles. The younger girl tried not to fidget though she couldn't help the frown that tugged at her mouth. She hadn't even realized that Susan had paused, watching her in the mirror, until the girl spoke.
"Something wrong, Lu?"
Lucy swallowed and had every intention of shaking her head and offering the little white lie of Nothing, thanks, but as her siblings had always known, the youngest Pevensie was honest to a fault. She couldn't lie; it wasn't in her.
"Why won't you ever talk about Narnia with me and the boys?" she blurted, voice pleading and so very earnest.
Susan faltered for the briefest moment, then flashed a bright smile as she set the last roller down on the vanity. "You mean those silly old games we used to play?" Lucy wondered if she was only imagining the tremble in her sister's voice. "I guess I just haven't got time for playing make-believe anymore."
Lucy clenched her fists by her side, fighting with all her strength not to argue, not to fight, not to ruin Susan's evening with angry words. She didn't want to be angry with her sister. But when Susan had laughed and left the room when the conversation had turned to their glorious days as the rulers of that far country, Lucy had put all her legendary valiant character into not crying. Edmund had given her a sad, knowing smile and Peter had drawn her into a hug, but Lucy missed her sister, the Gentle Queen of Narnia.
"How can you say that?" Though her heart wanted to wail, the words came out in a whisper, barely escaping her tight throat. "Don't you remember the royal dinners, the archery tournaments -- you always won, of course -- the wonderful dryads and the naiads and the centaurs?" Lucy's voice grew wistful as her own words drew her into the memories, stirred her heart again with the beauty of those years. "What about Mr. Tumnus? Surely you haven't forgotten Aslan --"
"Enough!" Though Susan hadn't raised her voice, Lucy stopped, as shocked as if the older girl had screamed curses at her. Susan's hands shook violently as she set the silver brush firmly on the vanity, the force of the movement betraying all the emotion she was keeping so carefully controlled in her voice, in the lines of her face which had gone deathly pale.
"But --" Lucy began, not knowing what she meant to say.
"No more," Susan repeated, her eyes fixed, unseeing, on the mirror. "Of course I remember. But why would I want to?" Lucy flinched, but Susan continued, color beginning to flush her wan cheeks. "Why would I remember a life gone by that I cannot live again? Why would I break my heart with longing for a country to which I can never return?"
Tears glistened in Susan's eyes, and for a moment, Lucy's heart leapt with recognition. This was her sister again, the girl she missed almost as much as Narnia itself.
"Maybe it's different for you, Lu," Susan whispered. "Aslan said you and Ed could come back." Her voice dropped even lower as she admitted, "You don't know how hard it is not to hate you -- not to hate Him -- for that. It's easier just to forget, to pretend it never happened." She paused, cleared her throat. "It's better that way."
Lucy stood speechless for long moments as tears ran silently down her face. Susan slowly calmed, her eyes focusing again on the mirror, hands beginning to steady as they reached for the puff to powder her nose, then the bright lipstick to paint onto her lips.
"Oh, Su," Lucy murmured, one hand coming up as if to reach for her then faltering, closing uncertainly, and falling again to her side.
Susan smiled at her in the mirror, red lips curving to reveal the slightest hint of pearl-white teeth, and Lucy felt wistfulness sweep over her again. No trace remained of the person who had been there moments before, the person who felt, who remembered. In her place was the girl Susan put on for the world, the girl Lucy now knew she hid behind.
"Greggory is taking me out to a lovely cafe tonight, and I hear their cucumber sandwiches are to die for. They even have smoked salmon! Can you imagine?" Susan turned in her chair, giving Lucy a look of excitement. "Would you like me to bring you something back, Lu?"
Lucy shook her head and forced herself to answer politely, "No, thank you. I'm sure I'll be able to find something here."
"Another time, then," Susan conceded, standing and pulling on her coat. She looped her tiny purse over her wrist and headed out the door, pausing in front of her sister to lift Lucy's chin with two manicured fingertips. "Don't worry about me, love. Life goes on, doesn't it?" She smiled again, this time gently, before tapping Lucy's nose with one painted fingernail. "I'll see you later tonight, then, dearest. Ta!"
She swept out the door, leaving Lucy to collapse onto the bed and cry until exhaustion pulled her into sleep. Neither girl saw the sad, golden eyes that looked out from Susan's mirror and wept.
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Date: 2006-12-02 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-03 01:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 05:30 pm (UTC)I understand Susan more every day.
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Date: 2006-12-12 05:37 pm (UTC)That's what makes the writing so beautiful and heartbreaking then.
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Date: 2006-12-12 06:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 09:49 am (UTC)Darn! Now I'm craving good Narnia fics. -.^
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Date: 2007-01-08 02:10 pm (UTC)I do have a couple more Narnia fics in the memories of the comm... I think "Checkmate" might be my favorite of those. And I've read a few good ones from other people but I forgot to bookmark them and now I can't find them again. *cries*
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Date: 2007-01-12 02:52 am (UTC)Yes I saw those! And happily read some. The Lucy and Aslan one was really sweet. I haven't yet got to the checkmate one. By the time I was reading it, my mind was all, "Woah there. Not comprehending. Who's playing what now what?" So I'll have to try when I'm wide-awake.
Awww... I hate it when that sort of stuff happens with fanfics. ;-;